I have a fear

বৃহস্পতিবার, ডিসেম্বর ১৪, ২০২৩বৃহস্পতিবার, ডিসেম্বর ১৪, ২০২৩ ফারিহা রহমান

Some say that dying a natural death is better than dying in an unfortunate accident or at the hands of evil humans. I don’t think that waiting for your cells to decay and your organs to malfunction is the best way to die.

I am afraid of old age. Some people are afraid of Alzheimer’s, dementia, irregular bowel control, not having autonomy over your body, etc. I have a particular fear. Fear of being hunched. The inevitability of not being able to straighten your back is terrifying to me. My grandmother uses a stick to support her body. I feel sorrow seeing her struggling to walk or to go to the bathroom. But she is used to it. She seems content enough if she can cross from her bathroom to bed. My back shivers when I think of this condition.

With increasing age, our bone density decreases due to lack of calcium interaction with our bone matters. I will probably not care when I will actually be bent and feel the vertebral column sticking out of my back.

I do care now. When I hear the phrases ‘calcium deficiency’, ‘sitting for a long time’, etc., I go crazy. It’s those times of forgetfulness that I wait for. Do you have any particular fear like that? Or did I disturb your blissful youth?